cdm
Grinder
Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Posts: 168
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 Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 11:22 am Post subject: |
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hey guys! so i finished up 2011 at around €3k+/$4k in sngs. i really thought i could do a lot better and i feel obliged to wrap up this thread with a long winded post about everything. don't feel obliged to read - i'll put a tl;dr at the bottom 
on stars.fr, i kicked off at the €3s and worked my way up to the €20s. €3, €5 and €10 on stars.fr is a complete joke. you're playing complete braindead fools. trying to inject logic into the random movements and lines taken by the avg smallstakes turbo HUSNG players is like trying to understand how a woman thinks - it's impossible. there is no logic or semblance of thought, just blind random plays that don't actually make sense (e.g. "i called because i knew you had nothing", says the guy with Q2o on a 5 7 A board). if you're at that level and happen to be reading this, i suggest you only ever bet for value unless you're 3barrelling with a view to shoving the river. best advice i can give someone trying to make money down there.. for SOME reason, most LPs (pretty much everyone in low stakes) will call your massive pfr raise, will call your flop + turn + river barrells just as long as the river decision isn't an ALL IN decision... i can't rationalize this, i don't want to even try... but yeah you get the idea....
i played as high as €100 (bumhunting), was open sitting €50s at one point, and considered myself a "€30 reg" at another point. but it's not the stakes i played at or the ROI i hoped to and failed to make... it's tilt, managing your life and understanding what you're capable of and not in poker.
i don't think i ever mentioned this, but i graduated from college with a computer science degree and then got a masters in music/media tech. for the masters i moved back in at home, played a little bit of poker but mostly worked on a very difficult set of projects that required all of my waking life.  i gave it my all and did very well, and came out into the real world desperate to get work and get up on my own two feet. i initially tried to get work i'd be interested in (i did a masters in an interesting subject so i'd get an interesting job, not an awful cubicle job that would kill me). i couldn't get anything though, and got kind of desperate and started doing interviews for awful jobs. suddenly, i'm working in an awful office job sat next to an industrial strength air conditioner keeping a morbidly obese man cool beside me and blasting white noise in my ear. i had to wear a shirt and tie and needed to be up very early in the morning and out late at night. worse yet, the set of technologies i was supposed to be working with was actually obscured by the company's own layer of software.... in other words: i wasn't going to be LEARNING anything in the job. the first day of work i came back and grabbed a 6 pack and lay in bed staring into space in actual shock at the course my life was taking... the 2nd day i'd made up my mind i was quitting to preserve my mental health. quickest job i ever had.
then it was poker. almost every day for a few months.. i'd play until i burned myself out. i played through tilt. i dived all over the stakes. i dipped into my bankroll. i swung from a €1500 to a €100 and back up again. there were highs and lows, moments of me playing what i felt was my absolute a-game, moments of denial, moments of delusion, but i learned a huge amount about the game.... particularly how to manage poker within my life... i've come to the conclusion i have around 5 hours (absolute maximum) of good play in me. that's a 1 hour-ish warmup, and 2x2 hour sessions. i was trying everything to turn myself into some kind of swedish zombie who played 11 hours a day and clocked in amazing volume... but you can't force yourself to be something you're not... i tried alphabrain, ritalin, copious cups of coffee.... but i play my absolute best poker when i sit down and endeavour to play each street of each hand to the absolute best of my ability... that's something i got from 'zen and the art of poker': "see poker as a continuum that goes on forever - the game of poker is an endless plane upon which correct percentage play eventually prevails. the idea is to hold back until certain signals align themselves, then jump in." i don't want to go all eastern on you guys, but i was trying to force something innately unforcable... and when it wouldn't work out i'd tilt and drop levels and play multiple tables, losing flips and then justifying shocking allins by saying 'that's a cooler'. 
something great happened around this time though. i got a job working as a programmer for a company that does iphone apps, flash development and other cool/interesting/fun projects. the job has flexible/shortish hours and allows me to work from home.  no industrial strength fan, soul destroying office decor, non-conversation with awful uninspiring people - it's my kickass room, cool music, dressing gown + the option to play poker on break or during the day if i feel like it. when i got the job i immediately worked out a 'moving out' date and opted to use poker to pay for it. i decided i wanted to get my bankroll up to €3000 before the end of january and use €2500 towards the place. having a real, tangible, achievable and modest goal would really help, i figured.
however! i'd recently hit rock bottom (around €100 total in the BR) due to bad variance coupled with tilt + 4tabling €20s and playing breakeven then losing poker. i gave poker a break for a little while until i played a home game with some old friends.. one of them is actually a decent tournament player and he really impressed me by making amazing laydown after laydown versus an entire table of fish. it was a game where the fish limp called 50% of their stack pre and he was finding laydowns with AQo on boards he'd missed and showing it. it was only €10 per rebuy but i couldn't understand how he was doing it. "why doesn't he just get it in and rebuy?" i found myself asking.... at that moment i caught myself and realized i was asking why he wasn't putting it in when he knew he was dead. suddenly i reexamined the past 1000 or so games i'd played, all the times i'd put it in knowing i was behind versus an idiot.... all the times i'd 4b shoved 88 versus a guy who hadn't 3b once in the game. all the times i'd called with 2 pair on a 4flush board. all the times i'd said 'he's obviously hit that river, but i'll call anyway.' all the times i'd stacked off with AJ pre. it's not that i was playing BADLY... i just wasn't playing GOOD. the whole POINT of playing poker is that you have an edge which you consistently exploit over time to profit. every time you shrug and agree to flip you're surrendering that edge. every time you 'call just to dog him' you're playing like an idiot. every time you play fast and hand out timing tells because "it's only a tenner" you're not playing like a professional poker player. these realizations helped me hugely, and i hit the tables immediately the next day to begin the grind.
i milked the €100 up to €1700 by playing €10 shootouts and €20 shootouts, and i have no major aspirations to move up levels just yet, the ROI i'm getting at €20 SOs is good enough to keep me here until i've achieved this goal (also, there are no €30 SOs on stars.fr, only €50s). i don't really have any advice for anyone, i don't feel fit to give it just yet ;P but i will say this, if can find a way to reset yourself on every street of every hand and make the completely "profitable" decision on each street of each unique hand, you'll be doing extremely well.
my goal in 2012 is to pull in 4 figures a month avg. hopefully i can rent + expenses out of my poker money, but i'm in a position where even if it doesn't i'll be just fine. right now i'm doing my 9-5 around 2 hours of poker crammed, then on the weekends around 4 or 5 if i have time. i like the place poker has in my life now, i'm no longer fixating on results or staying up late worrying if i'll reach a target. i just start a timer... put on a poker playlist... and when it's over i stand up and leave.
if you got to the end, you're an absolute trooper...
tl;dr: i quit my job, played poker, was doing ok but started playing like a tard, had an epiphany, am now playing better + have a cool job.
oh and i've a hot girlfriend as well.
see ya!!
happy new year tagpoker. stay tuned for CDM/DBS_CHAMP'S POKERSTARS.FR 2012 MEGGGGGGGGGGGGGATHREAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHATCHOO GONNA DO BROTHER?
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“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose” - C. Bukowski |
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