Onwards and Upwards?

Simba · Onwards and Upwards?

Introduction:

Hey everyone Smile

. I'm new to TAGPoker and I thought it would be appropriate to make one of these kinds of threads to track my progress and for you to see how I'm getting on. I'm SimbaRules on Full Tilt and PokerStars, and ThePokerLion7 on iPoker. Please don't sit me; you'll make a little lion cub somewhere cry, and that wouldn't be nice of you Sad

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I play mostly $2 games, with some $5 games when I feel confident enough. I think my ROI is around 15-20% overall. I don't have a SharkScope subscription so I can't filter my data I'm afraid.

Growing up I've had problems at home and at school too; my dad and the kids at school were never nice to me and I got picked on a lot because I have disabilities (unseen). As a result I have very low confidence, and this unfortunately shines through when I play poker. The biggest hurdle for me in poker is the mental side of things. Theoretically I have studied hard; I know how to do all of the mathematics, and I've studied stuff like game theory optimal play to try to make sure I don't get into too many 'wtf?' spots. Just the mental game really causes me problems.

I'm really not sure how to tackle the confidence issues in poker. Like I sometimes win 10 games in a row at the $5s then I lose two in a row and I move back down to the $2s since I attribute all the success to luck and I hate the idea of being a 'donator' to all of the really good (compared to me, anyway) players at the $5s. I'm one of the people who will get all-in with KK against AK, lose, then be like "sigh, wish I'd played lower, then I would've lost less..." Very results based Razz

, but I'm not sure how to get out of that. I've always been that way. I tend to attribute all the losses to bad play, and all the wins to good luck, haha. It's so hard to say "I got my money in ahead." when you look at your poker balance and you've lost heh, makes me feel depressed. I try to encourage my students to look at it in the +EV/-EV way but it's hard when it's your own money that's been lost, even if you did get it in ahead!

I wish somehow I could push a button and it would give me confidence; it sucks getting all upset and depressed from losing and then beating myself up about it for hours on end and losing sleep over it. I need to somehow convince myself that I'm a winning player at the $5s. It seems ironic since a lot of poker players end up going broke because they think they're a million times better than they are and sit at some stupidly high table. Send some of that self-belief my way, please Razz

!

So, with that introduction in mind... Targets time!

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Top Ten Targets/Goals:

1) To convince myself that I'm a winning player at the $5 level.

2) To get up the confidence to play at least one $10 game in 2011 (and hopefully win it hehe).

3) To continue coaching friends to help them further improve and beat higher stakes.

4) To make enough money so that I can put a deposit down to allow me to rent a place for when my job starts in September (need around $1,600).

5) To spend at least 100 more hours this year further studying game theory optimal play so that I can't be exploited by good players at the $5s (and potentially above in the future if I get there).

6) To rememorise the Nash equilibrium pushing and calling charts (since there are some entries I'm rusty on). Also to do the mathematics myself to calculate a chart of Nash equilibrium shove/fold play when my opponent minraises me at small stack sizes.

7) To beat myself up less and get less depressed when I lose.

Cool

To genuinely believe that sometimes when I win a game, it is because I played better than my opponent, and not just because I got lucky.

9) To contribute to hands here on TAGPoker to share my views and mathematical knowledge to hopefully enhance the understanding of others and to make the forums a better place for people to learn from.

10) To one day earn enough money from poker so that I can improve the quality of life for Mum and my little brother, to show my gratitude for all that has been done for me and the love I receive. It really hurts to see them struggle to pay bills etc. and I'd love one day to be able to help.

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Graphs:

The whole of my iPoker graph is from HU. My FT graph is HU from game 400 or so. My PokerStars graph has a little HU at the end, not much.

iPoker:

PokerStars:

Full Tilt:

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That's all for now Smile

thanks for reading. I'll update this on days that I've played. It's hard to play sometimes because of my university schedule; I've got my final exams in 4 months, eeek! Got to hope I do well!

U Cook Socks

My god, you sound exactly like me!

Let me give you a little bit of advice, from someone who went down exactly the same route. Stop playing the $5 games right now !

Seriously mate, you don't need to be playing them. Play the $10s, and play exactly the same fish you are smashing up at the $5s. Then when you have played 250 games or so at the $10s, you will no doubt have enough to play the $20s, and so on.

I used to be the same, I had a ridiculous roll for the $5s, and $10s, and my roll is still way to much for the level I play, but I am better than I was. You should take the advice, you are costing yourself a fortune. Please don't ever play another $2 game, you pay 10% rake to play those, so you are just burning $.

There are people who have been studying this site for over a year or more, that haven't got a graph like that. Over that amount of games, it is definitely your skill that has done it, nothing else. I am exactly the same, anyone on here will tell you, I so lack self belief about poker , but I fight every day now, and tell myself I have been a winning poker player for over 6 months.

Good Luck, and if you need any help, don't hesitate to ask.

*edit*

My advice. I don't know what your roll is, forgive me if you said, it is very early. Choose one of the big sites, either PokerStars, or Full Tilt, which ever you prefer. Full Tilt is prob better if you have rake back. Put enough $ in there to play the $10s. Unless you have cashed out some, you should have plenty. Say $525, thats 50 buyins including the rake, that's plenty for someone beating the $5s so easily. Take the rest of your roll and treat yourself to something for all your hard work.

Go crush the $10s, and be ready for the $20s within less than a month I assure you.

z1s6arn

Blazing is right!

Go and play the 10s! NOW!

When you win no big deal. When you lose some no big deal!

Just get comfortable sitting at a $10 table. After 50 you wont look back.

OH AND YOU ARE NOT TO PLAY A SINGLE $2 GAME EVER AGAIN! NEVER EVER AGAIN!

doodiewiz

Your stats prove that you're a pretty awesome player. I'm a newbie and just moved up from the 2's and like you expected some tougher competition at the 5's, but have discovered so far the same rubbish players play at that level too. You're losing money playing at them stakes but you no doubt know that!

GL mate!!

BetMagicMoney

Hey dude,

If im honest you sound like a very solid player, the best part of your story is that your ROI is around 15-20%, this is about as high as the really good players on this site so i would say your preety good Razz

as to confidence, i think what you need to do is forget about the money, just play every game as it comes and focus more on winning the game than winning the money, you'll get though it i have no doubt Very Happy

GL @ the tables

BMM

Wannawin

Just out of curiosity, what changed at the 450 game mark on FTP ?

U Cook Socks

Simba

Blazing: Wow, it's quite cool to find someone else who's been through what I've been through and can appreciate the struggle. Do you have Skype? It might be nice to chat on there about things since you can probably empathise quite well with the whole mental game situation. You can PM me your Skype if you don't wish to post it publically Smile

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Mmm heh, the $10s are really daunting - I mean, right now I want to play but I don't feel confident enough even to load up a $2 haha, I feel like I'm just going to lose. Was the same late last night, really wanted to play but just felt bad about it so decided not to. I have around 600 BIs for the $2s in the money I have set aside for poker, yay for negligible risk of ruin Razz

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Did you come to a point of money earnt where you just suddenly realised that you were able to beat the games you were playing? I can't help but think I might earn $10k playing $2s/$5s and still not be convinced I'm beating them! If it wasn't a point of money you'd earnt (and I suspect it probably wasn't), what was the trigger that allowed you the mental resilience and gave you the confidence to move up? My graph kind of suggests I might be winning, but in my mind there's always the thoughts of "heh, could just all be luck"... I can imagine there are probably people reading this like "Lol, seriously?", heh...

I've stopped playing on Full Tilt almost entirely now because the player pool seemed too strong. Am trying iPoker to see how I do on there. It sucks lol, but I suppoose at least I appreciate every last damn buy-in I put in and try 100% to win every time. I know some higher stakes players sometimes buy into like $2 games just 'for fun' and go all in every hand pre-flop etc., but I appreciate every game in the same way, no matter whether it's for $0.11 where I started out my poker career, or for $1000 (although I know which one I'd be comfortable playing Razz

!)

Also even if I did play a $10, I'd play it differently since I'd be too cautious and scared. Any aggressive player would just run over me since I'd be too timid to fight back. I remember Broker said in one of his videos (I think it was an $80 one) that a fish is a fish no matter what level the buy-in is, but if I played two games against the same person, with the exact same cards dealt: one at the $2 level and one at the $20 level, I'm positive I'd play better in the $2 game. I'd just be far more intimidated in the higher game and it would affect my play. Did you find that your play was affected much when you moved up?

Also I have an issue where if I win a few games, I stop playing because I don't want to lose what I've won. And if I lose a few games, I stop playing because I don't want to lose more. So putting in volume is very difficult for me - I can't seem to do it either way! The slate gets wiped clean at midnight and I have a 'new day' in my mind which is kind of an artificial concept I suppose but it allows me to play again.

z1: Haha Smile

, I can't promise I won't play a $2 again... Although I will promise I won't play a $1 again Razz

that's a start. On iPoker, the games are $2.10 as opposed to $2.15 on FT, so it's not so bad.

Doodie: Hehe, eeep Smile

don't pick on me when I sit first! Good luck at the $5s and beyond! Hmm, you didn't notice any differences at all between the $2s and the $5s? The players at the $5s are much more aggressive and competent in my experience. A lot of the players at the $2s just limp all the time and are super passive. Much easier to beat consistently. I feel my heart sink when my opponent at the $5s raises his first button haha, makes me think "damn, got another good reg sitting me..." Razz

. I suppose though to improve, you need to play against and beat the good players.

BMM: Yeah, the money is an issue. At the $5s the games are only worth ~1.5 meals each, so if I lose two or three games it's not completely soul-destroying, but if I lost five $10s in a row, that's $52.50 gone, which is my food for a week haha... I'm not even close to feeling comfortable with that thought. Admittedly before when I've lost a few $5s in a row I've skipped meals etc. to help "make up for the lost money", which isn't great but I beat myself up a ton for it and feel like I deserve it, so I punish myself in that way heh. Yeah, I've been to psychologists and counsellors, was discharged for the last time in 2007 or 2008 as "fully cured", sigh, stupid bitch counsellor was uninterested, just wanted to get rid of me. Like I said, the mental game is exceptionally tough for me. With my low self-esteem I always beat myself up a ton if I lose. It's kind of skewed too, like if I win $10 in a session, I don't feel nearly as good as I'd feel bad if I lost $10 in a session. Is that kind of thing normal? I've never really thought about it before. Similarly I can make a profit for the first 6 days of the week, then lose on Sunday, and end up feeling like I'm a complete failure lol Sad

sigh.

Wannawin: I switched from super turbos to normal speed Smile

. I was just Nashing the super turbos (the old 300 chip format) to see if they were profitable - annoyingly they were filled with bots which is why FT changed them... Frustrating since that was the only game I've ever been 100%, fully confident in (since I knew I was playing optimally!)

Thanks all for the comments, I appreciate your support Smile

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Wannawin

icemanv6

seriously, if i catch you sitting a $2 game on full tilt im going to sit you! That should be more then enough motivation to stop playing the 2s!! On a serious note you are well well rolled have a super super solid graph i mean your breakeven periods are like not swingy at all which says to me you are solid when you run bad. Now move on up!

U Cook Socks

Yeah, I got Skype Simba. I think It is Blazing_Saddler, or Blazing Saddler, town is Walsall. Try and add me, any problems , just let me know.

Seriously though, I have seen your graphs, and they aren't even close to been swingy, they are just solid , crush em graphs. I have read a few of the posts you have made about hands on the site. You know what you are doing, and could easily be beating the $50s within a month if you wanted to.

Hit me up on Skype, and I'll talk you through how I try and deal with the mental side of things. It is important, everyone has to deal with it. There isn't anyone who enjoys losing 7 o 8 buyins off the bat, despite outplaying their opponent each time, but there are things you can do to train your brain to think differently about it.

One thing I would say is, that solid bankroll management is vital, good players go broke if they don't follow it. However there comes a point when it is being taken much to far.

Simba

Thanks very much for all the kind words and encouragement Smile

it means a lot.

This morning I woke up to find that there was a $10.50 shootout MTT going on on PokerStars. I decided out of curiosity I'd watch a couple of tables, see how they played out. I was quite shocked (and pleased!) when I saw someone minraise with 96o at (40/80) then call a shove for about 1.1k effective stacks and other similar things!

I decided I was going to do it. I had to. I'm a lion, lions are meant to be fearless, right Wink

? So, I loaded up the SnG section of Stars, filtered it so it showed the $10.50 HU games, then just sat there for about 15 minutes trying to get the courage to register to one. My heart was racing, I was so nervous. But after what I'd seen from the players in the tournament, I knew that there are at least some $10 players who I'm better than. I registered, closed my eyes, and ran to the bathroom to stop myself unregistering. One quick piss and a few gulps of water later, I came back to my computer to see that a game had loaded.

I didn't look up my opponent because I knew if I found out he was a winning player it would intimidate me a whole ton. Besides, past games are history, right? All that mattered was me, my opponent, and the cards that fell. I was focused, determined, and wanted to win really badly. The first hand my opponent 3BB raised his button. "shit." I thought, "TAG or LAG reg most likely..." I folded my big blind. I raised my button, he folded. He folded his button. I raised my button, he folded. "TAG." I confirmed in my mind, for the time being, anyway.

The match progressed, and I learnt some nuances about my opponent's style. I exploited my opponent a couple of times by bluff raising in spots I'd picked up that he was weak. But I'd lost a couple of decent sized pots and was down to about 850 chips. My opponent seemed to enjoy shoving over my 3BB raises at (15/30). He'd done it 4 or 5 times so far. I was about to switch my raise size down to 2.5BB because of the shortening effective stacks, but then...

After having 3BB raised the previous two buttons and being shoved on, I was dealt KK on my button. I raised to 3BB and prayed. He shoved! I snap called with my KK and he showed KJo. I held and was back up to ~1700 chips. My heart was racing, wow. So exhilirating.

A few smaller pots later and I was up to just below 2100 chips. I looked down at my cards in the big blind to see QQ. My opponent limped (15/30 blinds). I had a read that his limps were weak, since he'd folded every single time I punished him. So I just checked my QQ in the big blind, hoping to trap him if he hit top pair on a lowish board.

Flop: 854r.

"Jackpot!" I thought, "He's likely to have a bit of that with his weak limping range. Just hopefully not two pair or 67." I led out for 55 chips into the 60 chip pot, as I'd led out previously quite a few times with nothing to steal and had folded to a raise, and I hoped he wouldn't read my bet size as a strong, protection sized bet. My opponent... SHOVED! I almost had pushed the call button before his chips were in the middle. He'd raised very strong hands smaller earlier in the match, so I was sure I was ahead.

Hero shows: QQ.
Villain shows: 86.

"No 8, no 6, no 7, please, God, please, don't do it to me!" I squealed in excitement and anticipation. The turn was a J. "Please..." I begged to no one in particular whilst waiting for the river... And it was a 3!

I felt so elated and relieved, and my confidence surged. I had done it! I conquered my fear for the first time, and managed to pull off a victory in the match! I don't think I'll be switching full time to the $10s anytime soon, but I may well mix a few of them in with my $5s and slowly transition. I looked up my opponent's stats out of curiosity after the match.

Average Buy-in: $12.92.
ROI: 0.1%.
Total Profit: $6.15.

Looks like he's breakeven at the $10s and $20s over a few hundred games. Which gave my confidence another boost, since it wasn't just some random guy who'd never played before. He quickly declined in the rematch box too.

I guess the only thing left to do is to post a picture of my victory Smile

:

Thanks again everyone for your support - you guys inspired me to try! The first is always the hardest Smile

... A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

In other news, also won 4/6 on Monday and 4/5 on Tuesday at the $5s, so yay, $22.25 profit there Smile

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U Cook Socks

Congratulations. You could be playing the $20s in a month if you set your mind to it. You are going to have bad runs, jeez, I think I have lost my last 7 games, or it might be 8. pretty gutting but I know I will make it all back petty soon.

Keep on going,you'll get there.

FunkMastah

Go Go GO!!!

If I could I would def make a cartoon/animation of your post.
Really nice to read! Very Happy

And gongrats of your victory at 10's!

You will crush the games if you just let urself do that.

z1s6arn

WELL DONE!

FunkMastah

^ could u turn the caps off, please?

Simba

Thanks everyone Smile

. Feeling quite stressed right now; played an opponent who was absolutely dire, quite possibly the worst player I've ever played. He rematched me three times, and I only won 3/4 in total. Got a big headache and feel quite sick; can't stop criticising myself for not beating him 4/4. I know 3/4 is still a profit, but really, he is the kind of player who I should be beating 99+% of the time. He never did anything except minbet unless he had a very strong hand. Ended up losing AA vs KJs aipf to him, then my top two against his bottom set. So disgusting :\ ... I'm done for the day, feel too sad and angry with myself to play anymore.

Overall result was 5/8 today at the $10s, only one above break-even, bleh. Still a profit though which is a relief. Still, uck, damnit, should be 6/8. Sigh. Such is life Sad

right now I just have a booming headache from the stress and want to sleep.

Profit this week so far: $38.25.
Profit since starting the blog: $38.25.

Time for me to sleep to try to feel less furious with myself, goodnight all, good luck at the tables Smile

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z1s6arn

Hey Simba would you be up for a friendly game on FT for a $1 Deepstack HUSNG?

z1

SN: Adapt n Evolve

YATHINNK

You literally can't win every game.

z1s6arn

Borg can!

Borg7

icemanv6

I think i've only ever lost once in regspeeds when borg has sweated me haha.

YATHINNK

icemanv6

I'm not kissing ass, it's actually a FACT lol.

two2go

kierkegaard1

11 losses in a row was my worst, and not something i want to repeat again in a hurry...